What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
