Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
