what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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