Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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