I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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