Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
