Betty ford says i'm here all night
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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