My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
