What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
