How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
