it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
