well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
