that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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