Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize