that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
