So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize