Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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