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Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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