dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
