the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
