Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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