So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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