Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
