i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
