Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
