come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
