This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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