I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
