i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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