All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
