And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize