I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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