the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
