We're facebook friends in real life
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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