he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
