i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
