can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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