is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
