remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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