I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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