Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize