So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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