He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
