question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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