Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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