he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
