i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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