you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
