Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
