I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
