Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
