GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
