Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
