Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
