So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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