the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
