He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
