Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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