once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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