At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
