After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
